Both toddlers and preschoolers can get a great deal of comfort out of clutching a raggedy baby blanket or well-worn teddy bear. These objects can offer an anxious child lasting reassurance, especially during transitions like getting dropped off at preschool or tucked in for the night. So allow your child to hold on to that special toy or blanket, and don't make her feel babyish for wanting to hang on to it. She's likely to stop carrying around that threadbare monkey by the time she turns 4.
By then, she'll probably have learned other ways to soothe herself when she's scared. Explain, expose, and explore. A scared toddler or preschooler can sometimes get over what's worrying her if you provide a simple, rational explanation.
For example, you may put an end to her fear of being sucked down the drain along with the bathwater by saying, "Water and bubbles can go down the drain, but rubber duckies and children can't. For some children, a demonstration can be reassuring. Your child may be relieved to see that although a vacuum cleaner can suck up crumbs, sand, and dirt, it can't inhale her toys or her father's toes. A walk at dusk can help make nighttime seem more magical than scary. If your child trembles at the thought of getting a haircut, let the hairdresser snip a strand or two of your own hair to show that it doesn't hurt.
If her fear is fueled by past experiences — like getting a vaccination, for instance — don't lie or sugarcoat things. But don't dwell on the bad stuff, either. Gently acknowledge that the shot may sting at first, but remind her that it will be over quickly and then the two of you can do something fun afterward. It's important to stay with your child during any painful procedure to show that you support the treatment and haven't abandoned her, says Howard.
You can also help your child learn about frightening things from a safe distance. Howard suggests carefully exposing preschool-age children to potentially scary experiences through books or shows when you're by her side.
Such limited exposure provides a safe context to deal with fears. Of course, don't expose to your child to books, shows, or movies that are horrifying, gory, or otherwise age-inappropriate. For example, if your child is afraid to ride a bike because she doesn't want to fall and skin her knees, then it might help to read stories about a young child who masters riding a bike without injuries. Similarly, she may get over her fear of monsters under the bed if she sees a show about a child who befriends fun monsters.
If she's scared of animals, a trip to a petting zoo might help. Problem-solve together. You and your child can find ways to increase her sense of power and control over things that worry her. To banish bedtime fears, for example, you could try putting a nightlight in her room, appointing a guard a beloved stuffed animal , using "monster spray" water in a spray-bottle , or a choosing a magic phrase to ward off unwelcome visitors.
Just don't expect her to overcome his fears right away, says Coleman. Practice through pretend play. If your child is terrified of the doctor, try role-playing what happens at the doctor's office — letting her play the part of the doctor could help her feel empowered. If she shrinks at the sight of strangers, she may feel less frightened if she rehearses such encounters using dolls or stuffed animals. If people in costumes scare her, dress up together to ease her fears. Preschoolers may also be able to relieve their anxiety by playing with friends.
Dressing up as noisy monsters or creating a haunted house can be fun, rather than frightening, when your child feels she's the one in control and has buddies close by. Don't share your own fears. Ages — separation from parent, dogs, darkness, sleeping alone, monsters, bugs, strangers, getting lost, thunder, injury, illness, death.
Ages — dogs, school issues, performance anxiety, social anxiety, fires, heights, darkness, thunderstorms, burglars, kidnappers, injury, illness, death, natural disasters, nuclear war.
Teens — school issues, performance anxiety, social anxiety, personal future, natural disasters, nuclear war. Some children are naturally more fearful than others.
If you are still concerned that your child seems unusually anxious, however, you may want to consider whether your child exhibits some of the characteristics in the list below. If you have any doubts at all, you should seek professional advice. Separation Anxiety Disorder — extreme reluctance to leave home, parents or caregiver.
Specific Phobias — overwhelming irrational fear of specific things or situations; some very common phobias in children are phobias of dogs, water, storms and lightening, bugs, heights. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — repetitive behaviour carried out to relieve anxiety, such as frequent hand washing. Children with specific phobias will anticipate and avoid their trigger, which can severely limit their activities.
They may cry or throw tantrums to avoid the object of their distress, or experience physical symptoms like trembling, dizziness, and sweating. Anxiety in toddlers and children often goes undiagnosed. However, anxiety disorders make children's lives harder and limit the experiences they can have. If you think anxiety is interfering with your child's ability to function, seek services early instead of waiting it out.
Ask your pediatrician or school guidance counselor for a referral to an expert and schedule an evaluation. The clinician you see should have diagnostic expertise and should explain the sources of information she's going to use. We recommend a board certified child and adolescent psychiatrist, or a licensed psychologist.
Treat this meeting with the same matter-of-fact attitude as you would when taking your child to the doctor for a sore throat, says Dr. Explain the visit to your child using the same words he uses to tell you about his problems: "We're going to talk to someone who can teach you how not to worry at bedtime," for example. It's also a good idea to keep track of worrisome behaviors and when they occur, which might help identify possible triggers. Fortunately, anxiety is one of the most treatable psychological disorders in kids.
The most common treatment options are cognitive behavioral therapy and medication. For many kids, especially those in the early stages of an anxiety disorder, cognitive behavioral therapy CBT can improve symptoms within a few weeks or months.
While CBT won't eliminate anxiety completely, it teaches children to recognize what they're feeling and manage those reactions. A child who has an obsessive fear of germs, for example, may learn to notice when his heart beats faster at the sight of someone coughing and to take deep breaths to calm down.
He'll also learn coping techniques, such as telling himself, "Millions of people touch things every day and don't get sick. Drug therapy might be recommended when a child isn't making progress with talk therapy alone, or if the anxiety is severely impacting eating and sleeping.
Medication makes many parents uncomfortable, but doctors urge them to look at the big picture. In fact, certain medications can often be an essential part of a child's treatment, he adds.
For children with severe anxiety, two types of medication have been found to be especially effective: SSRIs and benzodiazepines. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors SSRIs : These antidepressants increase levels of serotonin, which is a naturally occurring chemical in the brain that regulates moods. Examples are Prozac and Zoloft. They can also become less effective over time, says Dr. Common side effects for all anxiety medications include mild headaches, nausea, irritability, or sedation.
Charuvastra says. Talk to your doctor if you find that your child's behavior or personality seems drastically and negatively different after starting medication. If your child seems anxious but it's not interfering with his everyday life, you might try helping at home first.
Here are some tactics. Help your child confront his fears. All parents instinctively want to protect and comfort their kids; if your child screams hysterically whenever a dog walks by, for example, you might try to keep him far away from canines. However, "doing that may make things easier in the short run, but it reinforces his fear," says Dr. With each victory, celebrate your child's bravery with a small reward, like ten extra minutes on the Xbox.
Before reassuring your child in anxious situations, find out specifically what he's fretting about first, says Dr. No one is going to be mean to you at school,' when in reality he was really worried about finding his way around. Now you've given him something new to worry about. Establish a bedtime routine. At bedtime, develop a calming ritual. Rather than allowing TV or other screens, have your child read a calming book or do relaxation exercises.
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